RFPs: A Refuge for the Weak Minded?

I suspect that RFPs may soon replace fundamentalist religion as a way for people to excuse stupidity:

These from an RFP we just received:

"5.2 Lowest Price Guarantee
Vendor agrees that if Vendor offers the same service or products to another customer comparable in size at a lower price than the rates detailed on this Request for Bid, Vendor will adjust the District’s costs to the lower rate. "

First: We don't sell mufflers, you stupid git. We are a marketing agency. We never offer the 'same service' to a client. That's why you hire us. Otherwise, you could go buy "Marketing for Dummies - the Big Print Edition" and do it yourself.

Second: What if we offer a lower price to a charitable organization? Are you saying you don't want us to do charitable work?


Wait, it gets better:

"The purpose of this project is to significantly improve both the effectiveness of the #### public website as a centralized resource for supporting the needs of our students, parents, faculty, staff, and public visitors, and the perception, tone, and competitive positioning of the #### online presence."

Wow. Good thing you narrowed it down for us. I WAS going to write a response explaining how we'd make your site ineffective, with a crappy tone and terrible positioning.

Maybe I shouldn't post this. It might insult other people and keep them from sending me equally great RFPs.

Click.

Oops. Damn...