Objects in Mirror...

I have a new Toyota Prius that includes a backup camera. This neat gadget displays what's immediately behind my car on a little screen in the dashboard. That way, if a short person is right behind me, I won't squash them.

When I put my car into reverse last week, I nearly had a heart attack. In the monitor was the biggest damned squirrel I've ever seen.

For a second, I thought a rodent the size of a bicycle was about to eat the bumper off my car.

Then it hopped away, and I realized the little bugger was staring right into the backup camera lens, from three inches away.

My car does not include a defibrillator.