Monday, June 11, 2007

Does that make me a bad person?

I live by a classic Conan the Barbarian quote. It's his answer to 'what is best in life?'

What is best in life? To crush your enemies. To see them driven before you. And to hear the lamentations of their women...

You go boy!

I, too, gain a certain sick delight from watching my enemies crumble driven before me. Or driven before anyone else, for that matter, as long as I'm not a fellow drive-ee.

My enemies include:

Whoever designs packaging for kid's toys. I mean, c'mon, do you really think some kid's going to get a set of wire cutters, scissors, a sharp knife and the freaking blowtorch we need to cut the average toy out of it's package these days?

That guy who had tuberculosis and flew anyway. Sorry man. You're trying to tell me that you decided to substitute the judgment of a government employee for your own common sense? Riiiight....

The inventor of the letter 'P' I hate that letter. It's not quite an R, and it's too far gone to be an F, which is a much more respectable letter.

People who think my kids aren't cute and brilliant. You must suck then.

People who win the lottery, and then treat themselves by buying a Ford pickup. YOU WON THE LOTTERY. BUY A FREAKING ASTON MARTIN. OR BUY ME ONE. JESUS CHRIST WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.

The creator of public restroom toilet paper. The kind that always comes off in a million little bits instead of one nice sheet. Drives me crazy.

People who talk in movies. The closest I came to actually slapping someone was during 'V for Vendetta', when the couple next to me kept talking about the social significance. We know the social significance. Now I want you to shut up.

Whoever thinks that Windows Vista is a step up. You're insane.

George R R Martin. Could you PLEASE finish your series? You've killed off half of my favorite characters. Some by just having another character mention "Oh, he's dead now". You ended Feast of Crows hanging another one.

That's all for now. Any others I should add?


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