10 Ways To Piss Off A Consultant

...in a meeting:

1. Say "Well, I've never seen anyone do this that way." Yeah, and you're such an expert. If you hired me, let's assume it wasn't so you could tell me what an idiot I am, and go from there, shall we?


2. Say "Wow, that's really expensive." Fine. Then talk to someone else. I charge a fair price for my services. If you don't like it, I am not here to do a hard sell. Hire someone else.


3. Say "I consider [insert name of my employee here] one of my employees." Well, he's not. He's my damned employee. I pay the overhead, train them, and work with them on the team. You don't.


4. Put my team through five design cycles on something, and then tell us you really wanted to start over after the first concept.


5. Tell me everything's great, then rip my head off in a meeting.


6. Be rude or confrontational in a meeting, and then tell me it's "Just your style". If that's the case, well, "just my style" is to tell you to kiss my behind.


7. Throw out clearly nonsensical drivel someone told you on a plane as "another viewpoint" on how to execute your campaign. There are people trying to say that Creationism is "another viewpoint", and that evolution is "just a theory". If that's how you feel, go hang out with them.
   

Don't insult my intelligence. I can watch Fox News if I want someone to do that.