Salt + Paper Towels Proves Evolution is Wrong

From a Christian Academy Science Fair:

Brian Benson, an eighth-grade student who won first place in the Life Science/Biology category for his project “Creation Wins!!!,” says he disproved part of the theory of evolution. Using a rolled-up paper towel suspended between two glasses of water with Epsom Salts, the paper towel formed stalactites. He states that the theory that they take millions of years to develop is incorrect.

“Scientists say it takes millions of years to form stalactites,” Benson said. “However, in only a couple of hours, I have formed stalactites just by using paper towel and Epsom Salts.”

I never knew that stalactites were made of salt.

Clearly, they are far smarter than I. So, I took a look at their web site to see if I should enroll my kids there:

I have apparently mis-spelled 'rehearsal' my entire life. Am I in trouble with God?:


I guess comparing crystal salt sculpture to stalactites, thereby dismissing (crapping on?) all science and proving that creationism is right, fits into the school's mission of "Encouraging children to seek wisdom, joy in learning, and appreciate themselves and others."

Grammar is not a major portion of the curriculum, either. Run-on sentence much?:


Oh, and neither is HTML. I'm betting that you don't even have to know HTML to know how stupid this code, which I viewed on their site, really is:


I'm going to go buy some SALT and start on my new SCIENCE CAREER right now!