Friday, April 27, 2007

Single Combat With CSS: An Epic Poem

Lo, and I strode upon the battlefield,
Armed with the latest browsers and prepared
As rosy-fingered dawn spread her light
across the horizon to repair
the pernicious Black Bar of Death
that appeared, without mercy, to all
users of IE 6.

Once I charged with troops in armor
of knowledge and swords of Textmate,
But was thrown back by Windows XP
Which cried "You have a newer version of
Internet explorer" but sounded more like
"Screw You".

Again I charged, with axes of Hack
and defeated Windows in a gory
crash across a gully awash in the blood
of designers long dead.

But the Black Bar of Death again appeared,
and my courage failed me.
I fled the field in despair.

Then, as my army quailed and the hearts of good men
skipped beats, and as I fought against the
Black Bar of Death as it tried to posess me
with the desire to smash my computer into
sub-atomic particles,
a co-worker, armed with greater magiks than I,
Rode upon the field with his Staff of Many CSS Hacks
brightly aglow, and the Black Bar of Death
fled before his mighty hackiness.

Thus did the Battle of end victoriously
and our heroes returned to their daily tasks
wanting only chocolate in return.


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