Wednesday, May 02, 2007

FOOOMP: Company installs Full Spectrum Lighting, Employees Burst Into Flame

Half of the office at Portent Interactive, my company, looks like a cave. Everyone said they didn't like the flourescent lights, so they turned them out, which left that side of the office pitch dark. I don't mind, except that clients who come visit think I'm running a sweatshop, and I think some of my staff might die from vitamin D deficiency.

So, I ordered full spectrum lighting. Which cost about $1000, by the way. I came into work yesterday and turned on the new lights. It was super bright. I mean, likely too bright. But certainly a lot more cheerful than before.

Sadly, my staff hate the lights. Actually, the conversation went like this:

IAN: I'm going to turn on the new lights. OK?


STAFF: AAAUUUGH. It burrrnnnnssss usssss. It hurtsssss ussss. Nassssty full ssssspectrum lightssss. Make it go away! For the love OF ALL THAT'S HOLY TURN THEM OFF I'M MELTING OH GOD THE HUMANITY AAAUUUUGGHHHHHHHH.

Or something like that.

So, we're going to try a compromise, and move half the bulbs to the other side of the office. We'll find a compromise, I'm sure. But now I have to go sweep up my vaporized staff and start over again...


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