Dream Weird Much?
Pre-blog entry warning: This entry is odd. Bizzarre. Actually it's way off, and it may induce sweaty palms if you're uncomfortable when someone says the word 'gay' or 'sperm whale' in an elevator. Just warning you...
OK, it doesn't match exploding head syndrome, but this dream came pretty damned close:
I'm taking the Bar Exam (which, by the way, I never did). Donald Rummsfeld is proctoring.
Stay with me now...
So Donald Rummsfeld is proctoring, and he calls me up to talk to him. Next to him is Jon Ashcroft. Rummy proceeds to tell me that he knows I'm cheating, and I must stop immediately, or he'll pull my pants down.
...c'mon, STAY WITH ME HERE, YOU CAN DO IT...
That's not as bad as it sounds, trust me. My funny threat to my 5- and 7-year old children when they say they can't find this toy or that book is to look again, 'cause if I find it where they said they looked I'm going to pull their pants down. That sends them back, giggling, to perform a more careful search. So no, I do not have some weird homoerotic fantasy involving mentally deficient strategists or the Attorney General.
So then I go back to my desk, and look down. I have a full backpack that includes a whole bunch of legal books, etc.. I know it wasn't there a second ago. Then I look up, and Rummy's right in my face. Right about then I think "great, he can't find weapons of mass destruction, but THIS he's good at?!" and I wake up.
...Congrats! YOU MADE IT.
OK, it doesn't match exploding head syndrome, but this dream came pretty damned close:
I'm taking the Bar Exam (which, by the way, I never did). Donald Rummsfeld is proctoring.
Stay with me now...
So Donald Rummsfeld is proctoring, and he calls me up to talk to him. Next to him is Jon Ashcroft. Rummy proceeds to tell me that he knows I'm cheating, and I must stop immediately, or he'll pull my pants down.
...c'mon, STAY WITH ME HERE, YOU CAN DO IT...
That's not as bad as it sounds, trust me. My funny threat to my 5- and 7-year old children when they say they can't find this toy or that book is to look again, 'cause if I find it where they said they looked I'm going to pull their pants down. That sends them back, giggling, to perform a more careful search. So no, I do not have some weird homoerotic fantasy involving mentally deficient strategists or the Attorney General.
So then I go back to my desk, and look down. I have a full backpack that includes a whole bunch of legal books, etc.. I know it wasn't there a second ago. Then I look up, and Rummy's right in my face. Right about then I think "great, he can't find weapons of mass destruction, but THIS he's good at?!" and I wake up.
...Congrats! YOU MADE IT.
posted by Ian at 1:37 PM
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