Squirrel Kicks Ass, Takes Names

A San Jose squirrel took the law into its own hands yesterday and attacked three people at a South San Jose school.

After almost choking to death on my lunch, I read the rest of the article, and have to wonder: Was it a slow news day? Or is San Jose really that boring? Or are their editors just morons?

So I checked:

This article is 745 words long. It includes quotes like 'The whereabouts of the squirrel are unknown'.

On the other hand, news about a drive-by shooting in Santa Cruz got a whopping 283 words.

Article about soldiers on trial for killings in Iraq? 470 words.

Psychotic rodents are apparently 50% more newsworthy than Iraq, and over 100% more important than crime.

My recommendation - if you have a subscription to the San Jose Mercury, cancel it.